20 Steps to a Failed Marriage

1. Always apply the silent treatment.

2. Never compliment voluntarily, spontaneously and without     prompting.

3.   Never appreciate day-to-day effort.

4.   Criticise, even when you have made no effort or contribution.

5. Ignore: issues, successes, achievements, concerns and worries.

6. Always go out with your friends, instead of spending time with your “best-friend”.

7. Focus on taking care of yourself, expecting everyone else to be there for you when you need them.

8. Do not do the little things that make a big difference.

9. Absolutely avoid all forms of daily intimacy.

10. Belittle and be embarrassed about romance.

11. Decide that your anger, hurt and frustration are more important than your friendship, relationship and love. Harbouring bitterness forms an integral part of achieving a failed marriage.

12. Keep all sexual contact on your terms.

13. Erode your spouse’s self-esteem with your comments, gibes, and criticisms, believing that tearing them apart is the best way to build them up.

14. Never bite your tongue, be patient or respond with a soft answer. Always shout back and preferably shout first (or louder).

15. Rest when you should be working and work when you should be resting.

16. Always be nicer to strangers than to your spouse/family.

17. Take every opportunity to run your spouse down in the company of others and particularly with family and friends. Tip…this is best done as a joke, which masks the gibe.

18. Always pray that God will change them and never pray that you will change for them.

19. Husbands do not show any love!

20. Wives do not show any respect!

Remember: put the above first, if your marriage comes last.